4 Steps to Forgiveness

4 Steps to Forgiveness

4 steps to forgivenessForgiveness. Great to receive, hard to give. Yet, only when we are able to give it as good as we get it, we truly embrace it. Many of us even know the benefits of forgiving, yet we are unable to do it. Someone has hurt us so badly that we think it is unforgivable. We need to know that forgiving does not mean approving the wrong-doings. It means we let go and let God be the judge. Forgiving blesses us, not the offenders. So, yes, I’ve become a fan of forgiveness over the years. But that does not mean it has become any easier. How to go about it? Let’s see.

Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. (Col. 3:13, NIV)

4 steps to forgiveness

I have come up with a 4-step plan for forgiveness. And each step can be repeated until we’ve successfully completed them. Trust me, this plan works. Not because of us but because of God and his amazing grace. The power to forgive comes from the Lord. The same power that pardons us also enables us to forgive others. But no more talk, let’s see the 4-step plan to forgive.

Step 1

Ask God to give you the desire to forgive
Because when we’ve been really hurt, we don’t even want to forgive. So, the first step is to ask God to give you the desire to forgive. Once you do want to forgive move to the next step.

Step 2

Ask God to enable you to forgive. The truth is we are unable to fo forgive,  on our own we are out of luck. We need God’s empowering grace to do it. Thankfully there is an unlimited supply of grace available.

Step 3

When you’re ready to forgive, say it out loud.
For example, “I forgive xx for yy in Jesus’ name”. It helps to hear it and it is that much harder to forget you’ve done it. And then pray for the offender, give the whole matter to God. And, once again, repeat as many times as necessary.

Step 4

Then it’s time to ask for healing. Give all the parts of your heart to God and ask him to heal you and make you whole again. This is Jesus’ specialty, so wait for good because he is good. You won’t be disappointed. Our God is a healer and restorer.

The freedom and light-heartedness you get from forgiving are beyond wonderful. Don’t forget it and who made it possible. Give thanks and keep on living out forgiveness. You know, it’s grace. Pure grace.


Gracious God,
I come to you with an aching heart.
You know what is going on in my life.
Give me the desire to forgive and
enable me to forgive.
Thank you for forgiving me
and giving me as much grace as needed to forgive.
I want to forgive now_______
Also, I leave this matter and this person to you.
I give all the pieces of my broken heart to you.
Heal me, renew me, restore me.
Fill me with your sustaining grace!
And fill me with freedom, peace, and joy!
Thank you for your powerful grace!
Show me how to live in forgiveness
and how to love like you.
In Jesus’ name,

Q4U: Have you had trouble to forgive? How were you able to do it? How did it feel?

Be blessed, my fellow pilgrim, as you learn to forgive readily!

Photo by Akshay Paatil on Unsplash

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